Barefoot's Random Parody Lyrics SW Edition
by Barefoot XO
Summary: A wide assortment of song parodies about Star Wars, both movies and EU excepting NJO.
1. A Better Sith Then I Am, Tatooine

I don't own Star Wars or Gunga Din... Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Gunga Din belongs to Rudyard Kipling...

**A Better Sith Then I Am, Tatooine...**

You must embrace your fear and hate  
'Cause it is your simple fate  
And there's not a real lot to do about it...  
And when it's time to fight  
You must beware the blinding light  
And the Jedi, who can't seem to live without it...

Now on distant Tatooine  
From which twin suns are seen  
There is a very good supply of fear...  
A wild bunch of slavers  
And some underworld layers  
Just always seem to be so bloody near...

Out on Tatooine  
You desert-covered planet, Tatooine...  
You lit my fear alight  
And thus began my plight  
You thrice-accursed old planet, Tatooine...

As a Sith you must be tough  
'Cause your life is really rough  
And the Jedi always come eviscerate you...  
But if you remain strong  
You will last for really long  
'Til your own Apprentice takes the time to off you...

Now on that desert planet  
They will swarm on you like gannets  
And scavenge what they can, if you let them...  
But if you stand and fight  
You may yet last the night  
And in the morning, turn the tables on them...

Out on Tatooine  
That hot and dusty nightmare, Tatooine...  
My strength comes from your forge  
Your dune and waste and gorge  
Your sandstorms and your canyons, Tatooine...

The Dark Side is born of anger  
Of hate and rage at danger  
And darkness knows there's lots of that about...  
For fear will lead you there  
And fear is not so rare  
And so the dark expands, don't ye doubt...

Now in that deadly heat  
That will, upon you, beat  
Is a wondrous spawning ground for someone's rage...  
The cruel Hutt slavemasters  
And the natural disasters  
Are enough to forge your hate into a cage...

Out on Tatooine  
That blist'ring hot old planet, Tatooine...  
Your heat lit up my rage  
And locked me in a cage  
You turned me on myself, oh Tatooine...

Now listen up you duffer  
The Dark Side makes you suffer  
'Cause that is all you get from fear and hate...  
That wimpy side of light  
Is really just a blight  
They don't understand that darkness is their fate...

Now, in the desert heat  
You will, slavemasters, meet  
And you'll see them without mommy as a buffer...  
A day under their whips  
As they lash you 'cross the hips  
And you'll learn just what it really is to suffer...

Yes on Tatooine  
The ninth and deepest hell, that's Tatooine...  
Though I'll admit you bore me  
And, in your way, adore me  
You're a better Sith then I am, Tatooine...


	2. A Jedi Knight

I don't own Star Wars, any of the characters, or A British Tar, Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and A British Tar belongs to Gilbert and Sullivan...

**A Jedi Knight**

A Jedi Knight is a deadly soul,  
As quick as a cracking whip,  
His mighty saber slash should be pretty quick to smash  
The Dark Lord of the Sith.  
His mind is at peace,  
as he sits alone,  
His brow is arched  
As his skills he hones,  
His breath should come,  
In a steady flow,  
And his body ever ready to confront a foe.

His mind is at peace, as he sits alone,  
His brow is arched as his skills he hones,  
His breath should come, in a steady flow,  
And his body ever ready to confront a foe.

His thoughts should be pure of raw desire,  
His cause is e'er compassion;  
He never should permit himself ever to be bit,  
By the mortal sin, of passion.

His mind is clear,  
and his honour pure,  
His hair is long,  
and his manner sure,  
His stregnth is real,  
and his garb is coarse,  
And his power comes from a connection with the Force.

His mind is clear, and his honour pure,  
His hair is long, and his manner sure,  
His stregnth is real, and his garb is coarse,  
And his power comes from a connection with the Force.

And his power comes from a connection with the Force.


	3. Fifty Ways to Kiss a Wookiee

I don't own Star Wars, any of the characters, or Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover...Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover belongs to Paul Simon...

**Fifty Ways to Kiss a Wookiee**

"You wanted me to kiss you", he said to me  
And I replied that I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee  
He offered then to arrange it for a fee…  
(There must be fifty ways to kiss a Wookiee)

On the _Falcon_ I did not mean to be so lewd  
I fear my hug and kiss for Chewbacca was misconstrued  
But then I figured, he's a laid back kinda dude…  
(There must be fifty ways to kiss a Wookiee,  
Fifty ways to kiss a Wookiee)

You just stand on a stool (fool)  
You get nice and close (pose)  
You pucker your lips (get a grip)  
And kiss that Wookiee  
Get all your shots (please…)  
Don't need no Wookiee disease  
That's the way it will be, see  
When you kiss a Wookiee

Ooo You just stand on a stool (fool)  
You get nice and close (pose)  
You pucker your lips (get a grip)  
And kiss that Wookiee  
Get all your shots (please…)  
Don't need no Wookiee disease  
That's the way it will be, see  
When you kiss a Wookiee

And so I did not rise to Solo's bait  
I turned and left him with not a break within my gait.  
I hope he's ready to wait for me to return after a time.  
About fifty years?

And we finally continue our fight  
Oh no, no, no, I will not kiss you, not tonight  
I'd just as soon kiss Chewbacca again in the firelight  
There must be fifty ways to kiss a Wookiee,  
Fifty ways to kiss a Wookiee)

You just stand on a stool (fool)  
You get nice and close (pose)  
You pucker your lips (get a grip)  
And kiss that Wookiee  
Get all your shots (please…)  
Don't need no Wookiee disease  
That's the way it will be, see  
When you kiss a Wookiee

You just stand on a stool (fool)  
You get nice and close (pose)  
You pucker your lips (get a grip)  
And kiss that Wookiee  
Get all your shots (please…)  
Don't need no Wookiee disease  
That's the way it will be, see  
When you kiss a Wookiee


	4. Force Save My Son

I don't own Star Wars, any of the characters, or God Save the Queen. Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and God Save the Queen belongs to England and its people...

**Force Save My Son**

Force save my only son,  
Long live my noble son,  
Force save my son!  
Make him a Jedi Knight,  
Mighty warrior of the light,  
One whom can set things right;  
Force save my son!

O power of the Force arise,  
To play out my reprise  
Even as I die;  
Let my son come to me,  
Just once more before I leave,  
So just once that I can see,  
My son the Jedi!

I lie in this moldy hut  
Tied like a slave to Hutt;  
Let me see my son again;  
May he come to this place,  
So I see his handsome face  
And know now once and for all,  
The Force saved my son!


	5. Forever Rogue

I don't own Star Wars, any of the characters or Forever Young. Star Wars belongs to Star Wars and Forever Young belongs to Rod Stewart

**Forever Rogue**

May the good Force be with us  
As we fly into battle, this morn  
And let us hope that this evening  
We have no new names to mourn  
As you fly upon my wing  
You'll fly better then you've ever flew  
Because we are Rogue Squadron  
And impossible is what we do  
Be courageous and be brave  
Because you are here to stay  
Forever Rogue, Forever Rogue  
Forever Rogue, Forever Rogue

May your shield e'er protect you  
May your proton torps hit home  
If we all survive this dogfight  
Then perhaps my heart will calm

And though some may doubt you're sane  
I guarantee we're all the same  
Forever Rogue, Forever Rogue  
Forever Rogue, Forever Rogue  
Forever Rogue  
Forever Rogue

It doesn't matter if we die  
I'm still your wingmate, as we fly  
Forever Rogues, Forever Rogues  
Forever Rogues, Forever Rogues  
Forever Rogues, Forever Rogues  
For, Forever Rogues, Forever Rogues


	6. He's Always a Wookiee

I don't own Star Wars, any of the characters or She's Always a Woman. Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and She's Always a Wookiee belongs to Billy Joel.

**He's Always A Wookiee**

He's got a feral old smile  
He's got startlin' blue eyes  
And you'd never believe just how well that he flies  
And he spent many years trapped in forced slavery  
He's rather quick-tempered  
But he's always a Wookiee to me

He can fight Separatists  
He can fight off the clones  
And when Chewie is done  
All you'll find are the bones  
And he'll do what he can, if you will set him free  
He's indebted to you  
But he's always a Wookiee to me

Oh-how he howls in rage  
He can pull off your arms  
If you don't let him win  
Oh-and he never gives in  
And he fights for his cause  
As he fights for his kin

And he's armed with a crossbow  
With quarrels that explode  
And Millennium Falcon's  
The ship that he rode  
And they say that a smuggler  
Was his best buddy  
For some thirty years  
Yes he's always a Wookiee to me

Oh-how he howls in rage  
He can pull off your arms  
If you don't let him win  
Oh-and he never gives in  
And he fights for his cause  
As he fights for his kin

And there in the end  
We saw his arms arise  
As he howled defiance  
As a moon filled the skies  
And our dearest friend fell  
There among the debris  
He died much too soon  
Crushed beneath an old moon  
But he's always a Wookiee to me


	7. I'm Just a Padawan

I don't own Star Wars, any of the characters or Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. They belong to George Lucas and Cyndi Lauper.

**I'm Just a Padawan**

I come home in the dead of the night,  
My Master says "Have you gone and gotten into a fight?"  
Oh, Master, sir,  
Where is your sense of what's fun?  
Master,  
I'm just a padawan.  
Master,  
I'm just a padawan.

My comm chirps, it's that son of a Sith,  
He says "I want to see your keister right back here forthwith"  
Oh, Master, sir,  
I know I'm like your own son,  
But I'm still  
Just a padawan.  
Oh, I'm still just a  
Now Master keep your calm...  
Padawan...

I'll call you back when my fun is done,  
Master,  
I'm just a padawan.  
Master,  
I'm just a padawan….

A Senator with a smile on her face,  
She's so pretty that I ignore old Yoda and Mace.  
I promise I'll be there in a sec, Obi-wan.  
Master,  
I'm just a padawan.  
Master,  
I'm just a  
Now Master keep your calm...  
Padawan...

I'll call you back when my fun is done,  
Master,  
I'm just a padawan.  
Master,  
I'm just a padawan….


	8. Kiss My Wookiee

I don't own Star Wars, any of the characters, or the song on which this was based... George Lucas owns the first, and someone else owns the second.

* * *

**Kiss My Wookiee**

You fly in to the system, with your SSD  
That overlarge destroyer vapes a colony  
You've shown you're big  
You've shown you're tough  
Now I have come to say  
We've had enough…

Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy  
Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy…

You hang out with that Melvar  
He's blander then can be  
He's not as smart as you are  
But his nails are so pointy…

Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy  
Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy…

Your ship is Iron Fist  
A Super –Class SD  
You last volley just missed  
Was it even aimed at me?

Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy  
Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy…

My Wraiths are really sneaky  
They infiltrate your ranks  
They may seem kinda geeky  
But I owe them many thanks…

Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy  
Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy…

Your ship is blowing up now  
Your businesses all vaped  
You are in an escape pod  
You'll fight another day…

Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy  
Kiss my Wookiee,  
Kiss kiss my Wookiee, Zsinjy…


End file.
